Feeling it too. I’ve got a pile of music gear sitting in limbo that I should really sell, because lately I just can’t bring myself to touch it. If and when I do come back to it, I want to get back to basics.
But first and more importantly, I’ve got to iterate on the balance between relationships, work, and my passions. It’s a higher-order iterative process that requires a willingness to set it all down. Forever even. Does my life still have value- do I have value- without some “thing” that I do to make it feel meaningful? If not, then I’ve got some work to do before I work.
I've always felt that value in our lives is created by relationships - to people (most importantly) and to acts of creation. Acts of destruction may create meaning, but not value. I've also always viewed my relationship to creativity as a healthy component to my human relationships. Your comments remind me of the notion of letting something go in order to feel it's true worth. Is that what you mean?
No, it’s more that creativity has, for me, been tied to self-esteem in an unhealthy way. If I don’t get the recognition that I feel that I deserve, I begin to feel worthless and get depressed. So I’ve decided that the right thing to do is set the pure creative endeavors down for a bit until I can feel my own worth without it. Because I’m loved with or without my talents, and the time I put into relationships is far more valuable than any work I could produce.
Will I devote myself to art again in the future? Of course, unless the impulse is rooted entirely in the wrong reasons, in which case it’s a totally b.s. effort for me and I really _should_ drop it permanently. But I don’t think that’s the case. In the meantime I’m keeping my hands busy by working on cars and fixing up the house.
Got it. That makes sense. Self-worth or value, identity (as in "who am I with or without this thing") are definitely difficult to keep in perspective with regards to making anything. I think that's largely why I shifted to this platform and away from Instagram. This platform does not make it "easy" to toss out an image for empty likes. It requires more thought and analysis to make it worth posting anything at all. At least for now it feels like the challenge is geared towards pushing me to be clear, and the audience is more intentional.
You are talented, man. Hope your hiatus is helpful and gets you back to making in a fulfilling way.
Feeling it too. I’ve got a pile of music gear sitting in limbo that I should really sell, because lately I just can’t bring myself to touch it. If and when I do come back to it, I want to get back to basics.
But first and more importantly, I’ve got to iterate on the balance between relationships, work, and my passions. It’s a higher-order iterative process that requires a willingness to set it all down. Forever even. Does my life still have value- do I have value- without some “thing” that I do to make it feel meaningful? If not, then I’ve got some work to do before I work.
I've always felt that value in our lives is created by relationships - to people (most importantly) and to acts of creation. Acts of destruction may create meaning, but not value. I've also always viewed my relationship to creativity as a healthy component to my human relationships. Your comments remind me of the notion of letting something go in order to feel it's true worth. Is that what you mean?
No, it’s more that creativity has, for me, been tied to self-esteem in an unhealthy way. If I don’t get the recognition that I feel that I deserve, I begin to feel worthless and get depressed. So I’ve decided that the right thing to do is set the pure creative endeavors down for a bit until I can feel my own worth without it. Because I’m loved with or without my talents, and the time I put into relationships is far more valuable than any work I could produce.
Will I devote myself to art again in the future? Of course, unless the impulse is rooted entirely in the wrong reasons, in which case it’s a totally b.s. effort for me and I really _should_ drop it permanently. But I don’t think that’s the case. In the meantime I’m keeping my hands busy by working on cars and fixing up the house.
Got it. That makes sense. Self-worth or value, identity (as in "who am I with or without this thing") are definitely difficult to keep in perspective with regards to making anything. I think that's largely why I shifted to this platform and away from Instagram. This platform does not make it "easy" to toss out an image for empty likes. It requires more thought and analysis to make it worth posting anything at all. At least for now it feels like the challenge is geared towards pushing me to be clear, and the audience is more intentional.
You are talented, man. Hope your hiatus is helpful and gets you back to making in a fulfilling way.
Thanks. :) I’m really enjoying your posts so far.